Yes!!

It's Winter Break!!! And while I should be sleeping in late..I'm not, but I'm just thankful for not having to go anywhere. Of course, my little ones are home. We'll make the best of our time.

Notes From the Principal's Office

So...Who visited the principal's office this past month and why?(Of course I am not using real names)

1. Tony, a third grade boy, was walking around the playground saying, "Vagina, vagina, vagina."

2. Chad, a third grade boy, was calling his classmates, "Jack Ass."

3. Dave, a 1st grade boy, put the scissors up to another students face and told him he needed new glasses.

4. Tanya, a kinder girl, put the scissors(Thank God, these are blunt, kid scissors)up to another students face because he was trying to write on her paper.


5. Ross, a 1st grade boy, choked another student because she wouldn't tell him what she said to another student.

6. Dee, a 2nd grade girl, cut her barrette out of her head...almost cutting off her 15 inch pony tail.

7. Ross, same 1st grade boy, jabbed the teacher in the stomach while being escorted to the office.

8. Evan, third grade boy, stole golden tickets (reward tickets for being on best behavior), and attempted to purchase items from the golden ticket store.

Looks like I am going to have to ban any kind of scissors, provide self defense classes for the students and teachers, maybe begin sex-ed classes and hide those golden tickets!

Writers Block

I have writers block but....I am going to make myself write something anyways. It's not really writer's block....I am just TIRED. I wonder when I will get good consistent rest again. Will it be when all the kids are middle school and up and they know the value of sleeping in. This morning Jahlel, our 7 year old, walked into the room about 6:45 and declared.."Mommy, it's morning!" Although I almost threw something, I refrained and told him to go back to his room until I get up. Mind you, I had already been awake for at least 30 minutes. Adar, now 8 months, had been up making noises in the playpen next to our bed. Aminah, our 3 year old had snuck in our bed at some point in the middle of the night and had awaken shortly after the baby. Qiym, our five year old, had already walked passed the room door a couple of times making it clear that he was ready to eat...he's hands down the biggest eater in the family.

So, it is 12:02 a.m. and I why am I up? It's the only time when no one is up asking me for stuff. But, I am going to wrap this up and call it a night because soon I will be up making bisquits, bacon, grits and egss!

When children speak....I listen.

There are times when I have a conversation with one of my students which leave me speechless.

Over the summer, third grader, Jaime(alias) lost her 27 year old father to a rare heart condition. Yesterday as I was supervising on the playground Jaime came up to me and asked, "Mrs. Pope, did your mother die when you were a little girl?"
"No Jaime. My mom is alive and lives in Oakland."
"My dad passed away this summer and I had a dream about him last night. Ever since I had that dream, I keep seeing and hearing things."
"Really, Like what?," I reply.

"Well, whenever I look at one of the boys at school, I see my dad's face. It's as if he is going into their body to give me a message. I also see his footsteps. It's like he is calling me to go with him. I try to follow them, but they eventually disappear. When I am doing work in class, I hear him giving me the answers. When I walk places, he walks with me. He used to always walk me into places. Do you know he was only 27. He was too young to die and I am too young to have all these thoughts in my mind. I am only 8. I need to talk with someone." These were her exact words.

I am sitting and listening, but not verbally responding. I am not a trained counselor and I am afraid I may say something incorrect and in this instance, that would be dangerous. I do tell her about a grief group that is going on at the elementary school next door. I ask her if she thinks she may want to participate. She says yes, and I get her the permission slip to give to her mom. Our school, of only 196, has counseling services only 1-2 hours per week. Hopefully Jaime will start the sessions this week.

I am so amazed by my scholars. There are times I wonder if I can be as strong as they are. If I can articulate exactly what is going on with me and the need for help.
It's students like Jaime who help me forget about the challenges that are going on within the district. She and the others remind me daily of why I fight so hard for them and why I need to push even harder to get them what they need.

Jaime is not the only student who lost her father this summer..Aya(first grade) also lost her very young father to a heart attack and she is not as vocal about her experience. However, I will also see if her mom wants her signed up for the group as well.

Tired, drained, stressed, irritated, strained, and in need of some relief...and a release.

WOW!

So this year has been so busy I haven't had time or energy to write. Big changes at work have been a major challenge. Overall, I am still standing..with a smile...and greeting my students with a smile each day.

My babies are well. Jahlel loves 2nd grade. He's learning a lot already. He's also getting a crush on a different girl every week. How did this happen? My husband blames me:)

Qiym, my five year old, started Kinder and seems to be adjusting quite well. I need to spend more time working with him on reading.

Aminah..my 3 year old (going on 17)daughter is going to speech classes in the morning and regular school the rest of the day. Her speech is improving more and more..THANK GOD!

Adar...the easy one, only six months. He still has a pretty calm demeanor. I wonder if he will remain this way or change overnight..like the others:)

Me and the hubby..tryna squeeze in couple time when we can. It's funny how when we had one child we could always find a sitter..with four...nearly impossible!!

Year Three Begins!

In two weeks my 3rd year as a principal will begin. I have learned a great deal from my students, their families, my staff and all who have walked through the doors of our school. Each year I aim to get better. This year, I will depend more on God for direction and strength. Pray for me!

TIRED

I am TIRED!!
We took the kids to Legoland for a couple of days. They had a great time and it was fun watching them enjoy themselves. However, I am truly drained. Overall, it was worth every single moment.

Glenetta Pope, Mom in Training

There are those days when I ask myself why have I not perfected my mothering skills. After all, I do have four. I should have it right by now..shouldn't I? But then it hit me this morning, as I am up with Aminah since 5 a.m..on a Saturday morning.
I AM A MOTHER IN TRAINING. Let's call it a "MIT." I may not 'perfect my craft,' until I am 90. Why? because every child is different and I will be faced with unique challenges as it relates to each one of them for the rest of my life. In fact, I may never 'perfect my craft." I will add to it with each child and every challenge, but perfection will never come. In the meantime, I can do those things which make life a bit easier for all of us. If I do the following below, I believe I can be a decent mom!
1. Be as organized as possible.
2. Maintain routines.
3. Do my best to serve nutritious meal options.
4. Get as must rest as possible.
5. Allow myself some mommy time each week.
6. Provide all of us with a consistently calm environment. (I am naturally high strung..so this is a challenge for me. Thankfully my hubby is the opposite so he helps to keep things balanced.)
7. Maintain a clean environment (not my forte!)
8. Pray with and for all of us.
9. Help them discover their talents and provide opportunities to nurture them.
10.Love them unconditionally.

WMG

Sometimes I have Working Mothers Guilt (WMG). When I look up and the house is a mess or things aren't going quite right with the kids. The flow of the family is just a bit off..WMG hits me like a ton of bricks,

Uhmm

Thanks to my handsome, intelligent and thoughtful husband, I slept in until 10 today. I feel like a new woman!

Now the big boys are playing the WII..golf. Aminah is playing Tea Time, which means water is every where. The baby is in his bouncy...in and out of sleep. I'm watching the ribs on the grill in the backyard. Thanks hubby for starting the fire.

It's gonna be a great day! Yesterday was the fourth and I absolutely loved watching the kids reactions to dad lighting the fireworks. Lots of fun!

Acceptance

Today I FINALLY accepted two things.

1. I will never have the same amount of energy as my four little ones so I must get more rest. No more staying up 4 - 5 hours after they have gone to sleep. It's just not enough rest. They always wake up before me..running through the hallway..playing some loud games in the room...'waking me up.' So, I must get in the bed..even if, I have not done everything I thought I would do in a day or even if..a good lifetime movie is on. I WILL GO TO BED! Especially since I end up falling asleep on the couch and not feeling fully rested in the end.

2. There is simply not enough caffeine in the world to substitute for real bonafide sleep. So...I have to cut back. Yes, I will still have a couple of cups, but ODing on caffeine is no longer an option.

GET SOME SLEEP GLENETTA!!

Summertime!

I can hear the Will Smith song in my mind and I can see me dancing to the beat. Yes, it is summertime. While I will not have the entire summer off, at least I will have a few weeks of modified R and R. Modified R and R means that I still will be taking care of the little ones on a daily basis. Qiym and Aminah will be in school most of the summer. Jahlel will do a few weeks of summer camp. Ultimately, I will at least not have to check in to work every single day and to that I say Hallelujah!!
Summa
Summa
Summertime!!

One Day I'll Have to Explain...

One day I will have to explain certain things to my children that I'd rather not. Today in the car Jahlel was talking about how his classmate kept saying crackhead and how funny it was. Of course, I told him that it's not something to laugh about. But someday I'll have to break it down to him. I'll have to tell him the story about two of his Aunts, my sisters, and the fact that they are 'crackheads.' One of whom shares the same birthday with him. One day I'll have to tell him about how their crack usage led them to abandoning their children and seeking the high..by any means necessary.

Until then...I'll let him think it is a "person with a dead brain," which is what he told me. Or, as my five year old, Qiym, said "It's a person with cracks in their head." And both of their definitions are not that far from the truth.
**The picture is a photo of my sis way before the drug use. The after picture is much too painful to post.

What a busy week! Jahlel turned 7 on Thursday. I can hardly believe he is already seven. Seems like I just gave birth to him. I bought a cake/ice cream for his school party. We'll have another party next weekend. Would have loved to have it this weekend, but my school is having a spring showcase on Sat and Sun.

So Far...

We are half way through 2010 and I just want to write down a few things I've learned or have been reminded of so far:
1. When things don't go their way...a 'friend' can become an enemy.
2. I have to take breaks! They will not be given to me.
3. More than anything, my children need a peaceful home, it is the foundation of a
peaceful life.
4. When you have a job where you plant seeds, don't expect to see growth for a
loooong time.
5. People will sell you out to make themselves look good.
6. I am still Under Construction.
7. I don;t have to settle!
8. I can't do everything..especially after 7 p.m.
9. Appreciate my mom more! Remind her of how much a blessing she has been to me.
9. I NEED GOD! Trying to do all I do in my own strength is fruitless!
I am really trying to become better each day. Trying to get more organized...Spend more quality time with my babies..and take better care of my body. At the same time, I give myself a break when things seem to be moving sooooo slowly..especially the things I want to change.

Hmm

Jahlel did two days of swimming classes and caught some virus which had him out for the rest of the week. He's had a fever, chills, diarrhea, stomach ache, etc. Qiym had a bad rash this week. So...it's been an interesting week..to say the least.

Work has also been quite busy. Looking for a few new teachers and enrolling new students has been my main focus. Also, our second graders have been testing all week. I'm excited about the future, but also a little unsettled about some of the changes that are taking place. Overall, I trust God and know that all things will work together.

Don't Throw Staples!

Today was a good day..one suspension..1st grader threw a staple at someone..mom replied "what's the big deal. He couldn't hurt anyone with that." I wonder if her response would have been different if her son had gotten hit with the staple.

I took Jahlel to swimming lessons. We are hoping he eventually qualifies for the swim team.
Made it home by 6:30.

It's Happening Again

So I went back to work two weeks ago and it's happening again...I'm not writing every day. By the time I get home each evening I am EXHAUSTED. Get kids ready for bed, dinner time, bed time for the little ones, and me preparing for the next day. Once every thing is complete, I usually fall asleep watching an episode of Grey's Anatomy.

I must find a way to write every day. Even it's only three sentences. Maybe I will start taking a real lunch break..out of the office and write! I'm going to try this plan and see how it works.

Thank You Mom

When I was growing up, I never knew the value of the sacrifices my mother made for me. I took them for granted. I took her for granted. Without fail she...
-made sure my clothes were clean.
-had the house smelling like breakfast every Sunday morning...with gospel
music playing in the background.
-encouraged me to be better.
-gave me Shirley Temple curls every Easter..until I decided I was too old
for them.
-prepared hot meals every day.
-put all of us ahead of her career..gave up nursing to take care of us.
-whooped my butt as needed!!
-helped me discover what my gifts and talents and supported me..thanks for all the rides to performances/contests/piano lessons, etc.
-was up before us every day..preparing.
-kept a clean house.
-loved me unconditionally.
-made sacrifices that I may never know about.
Thank you Helen Maudesta (Taylor) Turner. I am because you are.

Running on Fumes!

Some days I have nothing left..this is one of those days.
Parent mtg last night.
All day district evaluation today.
Reading report cards tomorrow.
Whew!

I made it!

So I made it through my first official day back at work. I am embarrassed to say that I was about 10 minutes late. I set my alarm for 5:30, snoozed it and got out the bed about 6:20. Tomorrow I will place it across the room to make sure I get up! And I will go to sleep at a decent hour. I was up completing the last few things on my list. The day went by pretty fast and I actually made it home by 6:00. I am determined to leave at a decent time unless I have a special meeting.

I thank God for His strength!

Self Care is So Important

The other night I had a dream that my leg hair had gotten so long I got it braided. Self care is essential!

In The Morning...

In the morning I will go back to work full time as a mother of four children, 6 and under. I was able to get through most of my checklist from my last post. However, I did cheat a bit. Thankfully, I was able to get a few pre-cooked items from Costco including a Rotisserie chicken and lasagna. I made a good meal today, but most if it is gone...no left overs for tomorrow.

Adar, my 7 week old, seemed to be even more attached to me today. He did not sleep much and whenever I left the room, he had a strong reaction. It's as if he is protesting my returning back to work. I gave him lots of hugs and kisses and will do the same before and after work tomorrow. There are only 6 weeks left in the school year, which will go by fast. However, these will be very busy weeks! This week alone I have a visit by LAUSD for our annual review.

In the meantime. I will cherish every moment I have with my babies!

Getting Ready To Go Back 2 Work

Yesterday I went to my job for Grandparents Day. I feel as if work is a second home. Even when circumstances are demanding, I simply see it as a challenge to work thru. I have yet to feel like throwing in the towel.

This coming Monday is my official first day back. The task before me this weekend is to get my house in a place where next week will go as smoothly as possible. Thankfully, I only have two loads of clothes to wash.
1. Next, I need to put the kids clothes in individualized crates for the week.

2. Of course, I will go shopping...diapers, wipes, formula, extra bottles, food for meals, snacks, etc.

3. Oh yeah, Jahlel needs new school pants...he split one pair. Picked up new shoes for everybody yesterday. Thank God for BOGO!

4. My Goal is to cook enough food this weekend that can last the entire week..at least thru Thursday. Maybe lasagna, baked chicken, beans/rice and a few sides.

But first,
5. I will take my suits to the cleaners and

6. Aminah to dance class.

7. Once I pick up some Skecher Shape Ups, I will return home and start working on this list!

Will it be a challenging weekend and week? No Doubt! As long as I see it piece by piece, I can make it through.

Two Broken Glasses

We took the three youngest children out to eat yesterday and left two broken glasses. One..Aminah accidentally dropped and another accidentally knocked over by an undisclosed adult. That was a first. The adventures never stop! But we also accepted that not all restaurants are 'family-friendly.' Next time, we will go to the restaurant that has plastic or paper cups.

In Less Than Two Weeks..

In less than two weeks, I will return to work full time. I need time to process this reality.

Role Reversal

In addition to being a wife, mom, and principal, I am also a daughter and sister. I have 11 brothers and sisters. My parents are very dear to me and I cherish the fact that they are still alive at 75(dad) and 70(mom.)..which is why it is so hard to see my parents age.

When I was growing up, my dad was always a strong provider. I never went a day without food, clothing and shelter. I even had some of the extras, including a car at 16 and name brand clothes. My father worked sun up to sun down to provide for all of us. My mom held down things at the house. She always made sure we had hot meals every day, a clean home, and we did our homework. While she was a trained nurse, she spent most of her years taking care of our ailments instead of those in the hospital. It seems like every kid had some kind of health challenge.

As my parents age, I consider it an honor to do for them what they did for me. Of course I can never fully repay them for everything, but hopefully I will at least put a drop in the bucket.

I'll talk about being a sister later..I gotta go to bed. It has been a long physically and emotionally draining week.

Sometimes I Feel Overwhelmed

Sometimes I feel overwhelmed. It is in that moment I take a much needed break.
Some alone time...which can include an hour of writing at Starbucks or a couple of hours watching a movie.

It is in that moment I realize that I can not do all that I do by myself
in my own strength..
I am only human
One woman
With one body
two hands
two feet
one mouth.
I realize that I need
my family
my God
to live
to survive
to erase the feeling of overwhelmed
and replace it with
Relief!!

Aminah and Princess Tiana

The new Disney Princess is important to my daughter. When I was a little girl I loved watching Disney movies, but not one princess who looked like me. The lack of representation definitely had an effect on me. However, with the new princess in town, Tiana, my daughter is having a totally different experience.

I bought the DVD a few weeks ago and she loves watching it! Not only that..when she puts on her pull ups, she specifically looks for the ones with Princess Tiana and the other princesses. When I attempt to put one on with just Cinderella or Snow White, she declares, "NO! Tiana!" When she prepares for sleep, she wants to hear the Tiana story, have her doll next to her and the blanket covering her. And when she sneaks to her brothers room later in the night, she brings all of those items with her.

I truly wonder if other black girls across America are having a similar experience. Of course, Princess Tiana will not be the main ingredient in determining how little black girls see themselves. However, I do believe it is having a positive effect. And I am anxious to see how this will influence their definitions of their own beauty.

I Was Kicked Out of Dance Class

When I was a little girl my big sister Marie took me with her to dance class. She asked the teacher if I could participate and she agreed. There were a few of us little ones in the class. However, I was eventually kicked out. Why? I wanted to do my own thing. I thought it was a waste of time to do the same dance as everyone else.

I believe that my rebellion in that dance class was truly a representation of what kind person I would become..one who would not just go along with what the majority was doing. I was raised in East Oakland. A place where the majority of my peers were not trying to go to college, but I was. A place where many of the young people in my age group were smoking blunts, and I was not even going close. I actually got teased for being a "nerd," and I always saw it as a compliment because I knew that someday it would pay off. And I thank my hometown for preparing me for life!

Today my 2 year old has her dance class once again...our Saturday morning ritual. She definitely does her own thing. However, I will say that she doe s pick up the routines and does them when she feels like moving with the crowd. It will be interesting to see how this experience is manifested in her life in years to come. In the meantime, hopefully she will not get kicked out :)

Mrs. Pope, Look in the Mirror!

So I went to pick up my daughter the other day and as soon as I walked into the lobby the principal looked at me..eyes wide..and said, " Mrs. Pope, look in the mirror." I looked in the full length mirror and a stranger was looking back. It was actually the woman from the BET commercial(I believe it's Dr. Miracle) with the wild hair. She looks like she stuck her finger in an electrical socket. For the next couple of days I wore head wraps and today I actually combed my hair. Curled it and everything.

I've always been the type that could care less about what people think about me and will walk around town with sweats and a T-Shirt. Of course, I go to work and church suited and booted. But when I have no particular place to go, I thoroughly enjoy casual wear and hair. Yet and still, I need to do the basics...like comb my hair. Especially since I am picking up my babies. I cannot be 'that parent.' The one who the other children make fun of...LOL

To Stay or Not Stay at Home With the Kids?…That is the question.

About four years ago, I was a part of a women’s group called “ Working Women Who Want to Stay at Home (or work from home.)” We met on a monthly basis and discussed the joys and challenges of being working mothers. In addition, we shared various work at home opportunities and supported/nurtured each others ideas. I looked forward to our meetings each and every month. Not only because it gave me a chance to get out of the house, but to also be around an awesome group of women.

However, I am not too sure if working at home or from home is something I desire any more. It may have something to do with the fact that I absolutely love my current job and cannot imagine living without the daily adventures of being an elementary school principal. Yet, I do recognize the serious task of learning how to balance it all. Sometimes I get it right and sometimes I don’t. I probably will not have it all figured out until I retire and then I can write a book about it all.

In the meantime, I make leaving work at a decent time a priority. I make sure I read with my babies most nights and try to make sure the weekends are “special.” I even transferred my oldest son to my school so we could spend more time together. Although he tries to work his “connection” at times, it’s actually working out quite well. I seek support from other working moms. I give myself a break for not getting it right all the time. Ultimately, being a working mom is the choice for now. That could change…we’ll see what happens.

"Hello, I'm Glenetta and I am a diabetic."

Fall of 1995 I began my first year of teaching. I had a class of boys...special education..in Long Beach, CA. They wore me out! I worked from 6 -6, picked up some fast food and was in bed by 8 every night. I assumed my exhaustion was simply from demanding students. However, I soon realized there was another factor involved. In addition to always being tired, I was thirsty and hungry all the time. I specifically remember sending my students to the cafeteria to grab me some juice, milk and chocolate chip cookies. In the midst of it all, I was loosing significant amounts of weight. I was down to a size 1-2. The most drastic symptom came when I was driving one day and my right foot cramped up in pain and I had to used my left foot to get home.

I began talking to Chris' mom (who would eventually become my mother in law) about what was going on. She suggested I get checked for diabetes. She had a blood sugar monitor at the house since she was a nurse. She pricked my finger with a small needle and when the reading came back, my blood sugar was almost 500. Normal is 80 - 120. She immediately took me to the ER, where they officially diagnosed me with diabetes and prescribed pills.

When I was first diagnosed, I cried for about a week. I thought about other relatives who also had diabetes and lots of complications..loosing eyesight, limbs, having difficult pregnancies, etc. I was scared! However, many of my fears were lessened when Chris' mom began to educate me on how I could take control of the disease and not let it overtake me. Slowly, but surely, I began to feel empowered.

As I said before, initially I was on pills..which didn't work. Next, I took 3-5 shots daily for about 10 years and now..Fast forward to today, 15 years later, and I am now on an insulin pump. An insulin pump works like an actual pancreas because the insulin is slowly let into my system all day long. And if I need extra, I just press a button. It's a small pager like machine attached to my body through a small tubing which I can easily take off as needed. I absolutely love it and thank God for the invention.

One day when the family was in the car, my oldest son, Jahlel, saw me giving myself a shot and he said, "Mommy, I know you gave me my looks, because I look like you. But please don't give me that...pointing to the shots." In his 6 year old way, he was asking me to not pass on the diabetes. I almost started crying. Instead, I used it to fuel my efforts to take care of myself and make better health choices for my family as a whole...in meal planning, exercise, etc.

Each day with diabetes is a challenge. I just pray that I stay on the right path. Also, I hope I can be a support to other people with the disease.

"I'm gonna wash that gray right outta my hair!"

I remember seeing and hearing the commercial which sang "I'm gonna wash that gray right outta my hair." What a catchy jingle..back then I just thought it was cute. Now, I'm about to look for that product. With each child I have, I notice an increase of gray hairs..especially along the edges of my hair. Am I paranoid about looking old? Certainly not. Although I was a bit put off when one of the parents at my school asked if my hubby was my son..what the heck? She claims her words just got "mixed up."

Anyways..I just like how my hair looks..all one color :) when I start to fully gray..I will let it take over. I will definitely not become one of those blue haired elderly ladies..how does that happen anyway? Are they trying to to dye it black and it comes out blue. Anyways..

Spring "Break"

Today starts the second week of Spring "Break" for the Pope household. Jahlel and Aminah's Break was last week. This week Elyaqiym's(Qiym) break begins. Jahlel went to spring break camp and Aminah had daycare at her school. Qiym and I will be hanging tough with the baby all week. Honestly, Qiym presents the greatest challenge. He has Aspergers Syndrome. Which means...if I do not plan/schedule each hour of each day I will have a problem on my hand. The only thing on the agenda today will be taking the baby for his check-up. Thank God for Nintendo DS because that will keep him busy @ the doctor's office:) The rest of the day...I must plan..arts and crafts, homework, play time, etc. Good Times!